waxing melodic...

don't know how to say thanks for one hundred days of care wow! i've been around a while didnt think i'd still be here what a rocky start it was for my tummy, heart and brain swelling, popping, and bleeding no way it's the gravy train since then things have improved "wahoo! oh yeah!" i say wont be long now, then you'll see i'll be gone! be on my way... the doctors have been cool with their knives and pumps and scans fixed me every time i went bang according to their mad plans the nurses, well, what can i say? they rock! (and roll and sway) they feed me, clean me, wipe my ass without complaint; they make my day

ive heard all the noises i make quite a few while growing the beeps, the wooshes, the loud alarms no match for me when i get going the noise is helped by breathing i can do this with a little aid just got the low flow left to beat then the machines can be waylaid only one thing left to conquer thats feeding from a bottle im so close to winning, its scary then im off, out the door, full throttle i know ive been a bit of a strain on my brothers, my folks and friends but when all the dust is settled life will be good. six people; very zen thanks goes to all of N.I.C.U as a team, you deliver the rolls royce of hospital departments i thank you; now ... and forever Harlow.

how premmie mothers are chosen...

did you ever wonder how mothers of premature babies are chosen?
somehow, i visualise god, hovering over earth, selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. as he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.

• armstrong, beth, son. patron saint, matthew.
• forrest, marjorie, daughter. patron saint, celia.
• ruteledge, carrie, twins. patron saint ... give her gerard, he's used to profanity

finally he passes a name to an angel and smiles. "give her a premmie."
the angel is curious. "why this one god? she is so happy."
"exactly," smiles god. "could i give a premature baby to a mother who knows no laughter? that would be cruel."
"but does she have the patience?" asks the angel.
"i don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. once the shock and resentment wear off she'll handle it.
"i watched her today, she has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother. you see, the child i'm going to give her has a world if it's own. she has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."
"but lord, i don't think she even believes in you."
god smiles. "no matter, i can fix that. this one is perfect. she has just the right amount of selfishness."
the angel gasps, "selfishness? is that a virtue?"
god nods.
"if she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. yes, here is a woman whom i will bless with a child less than perfect.
she doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied.
she will never take for granted a spoken word.
she will never consider a step ordinary.
when her child says momma for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it.
i will permit her to see clearly the things i see - ignorance, cruelty, prejudice - and allow her to rise above them.
she will never be alone.
i will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."
"and what about her patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air.
god smiles.
"a mirror will suffice."

~ author unknown

---

this is something that Justine was given and wanted to share with other mothers of extremely prem babies.

slurp!! ~ slurp!!

normally, babies hang off their mothers boobs to feed.  makes sense, the mothers are built for this kind of thing.  s'okay, as has often been said, nature knows best.  kinda exclusionary for a fella tho.  thats one of the biggest advantages of bottle feeding that i can think of, i get a turn and i got my first go at feeding Harlow on sunday.  it bought back a tonne of memories...

he did really well ( again ).  finished the bottle and then belched his asses off!!  mate!  put me to shame ( i'm sure i heard a window rattle ).  he's a windy wee soul, if he's not belching, he's farting.  of course, he gets all this from his mother!

he gets bottle fed expressed milk twice a day, he doesn't have the stamina for each feed to be a bottle feed as yet.  as it was, he started snoring toward the end so i had to wake him up to finish.

it was good.  a taste of things to come ( at 3 in the morning )...

other events of note :

• his supply of caffeine has stopped,.  caffeine is used to stimulate the heart. this suggests that his ticker is ok
• he has had another blood transfusion, bringing the grand total to eight.
• he is back on lowflow.  this is a backward step, he was alternating between CPAP and air, now he alternates between CPAP and lowflow.

one thing that needs more than a bullet point.  he has had his 36 week brain scan and it has come back all clear.  excellent!!  this means that he will be able to walk, run, play without difficulty, learn stuff easily and generally be NORMAL!  damn thats good. all we have to go now is to clear his lungs.

he has some new bling for his cot.  he has a mobile that hangs over his head.  its full of sheep!  can you get any more kiwi? i'm assuming that the trees are pohutukawa...

the great heist - that went awry...

stealth, the main stay of any covert operation.  especially one where the objective is to steal a baby out of NICU.

we had it all planned!  i was to wait out the front with the engine running, looking inconspicuous; a mate had a plane idling at an airport with an undisclosed location; doctored passports, fake wigs...

all we had to do was to get Harlow out and we we're gone...  hellooooo south america.

but no.  damn that NICU vigilance.  we had Harlow in the pram, we were scooting down the hall, the door was RIGHT THERE!!!

and we were snapped.

"*ahem* .... wot's this then?  off for a cuppa tea?"

so, it transpired that Harlow got his first pram ride around the NICU, the staff never knowing that he was only METERS from freedom!!

whatcha goanna do?

he enjoyed it tho, i overheard him at the pub saying to one of his mates that he was looking to pimp out his wheels with a woofer or two and go cruising for chicks...

haha, the same wheels that have all his monitors and breathing apparatus attached to it >:]

nurses of the N.I.C.U... (II)

ahhh... nurses. there is so much to be said about nurses. they come in all shapes and sizes with their own unique set of ... attributes and ... qualities. you have the naughty nurse, the noisy nurse. the nurse that has trouble with her uniform. the nymphomaniac nurse, the nubile nurse twins(!!), the nurse with "a friend", nurses who specialise in sponge baths... it's no bloody wonder that nurses feature so highly on the male-fantasy-of-the-year list. ~sigh~ so, what does all this have to do with the nurses of the N.I.C.U? nothing. nada. except that they're nurses. mmmmmm ... nurses ... so, just give me a second to get my mind back on track. so difficult ... so many nurses ... arrgghhh! ok, so, the nurses of the N.I.C.U. firstly, they come in all shapes and sizes. ha ha >:] seriously, the nurses of the N.I.C.U are different to the other nurses i have been a patient of. there is a level of care there that i have not seen in other departments. makes sense in a way, their charges are totally dependent on what they know and the level of their skills. if they are not up to par, the patient is at a higher risk of crashing than an adult, they do not have the same hidden reserves. i have seen them in action when ALL the bells and whistles have gone off. the day that Harlow croaked like a frog. there were four nurses minimum working on Harlow for four hours. they were cool, they were composed. there was no raised voices, they were focused on what they were doing and they were busy, saving my boy. the words i would use to describe the nurses at the N.I.C.U are words like : competent, dedicated, attentive, thorough. they are determined that no one is going to leave the nursery on their watch unless they are going home with their parents. all good stuff. they are also approachable and ready for a discussion on anything. be it the start of a twenty five child family, the quality of english teas, or how sunburned their ankles are. they laugh at you, you laugh at them, they continue with their job. i know i couldn't do it. the highs would be euphoric, but the lows? i could not handle the lows. a dead database i can deal with, they come back from tape. but children? so... i like the nurses at N.I.C.U...

nurses of the N.I.C.U...

ha ha ha...

more on this later. >:]

ping!!

so, i have just been and visited Harlow and ping!! he was awake. as in, eyes open, "i'm going to stare you down, fool!" awake. for the whole time i was in there, he was looking around, checking out the nurses ( a noble and time honoured activity ) and making sure he was fed on time.

it was great, its not often i get to see him so alert and it was nice to see that he has eyes behind those eyelids.

of course, he started to get grumpy towards the end, but, thats ok, he was grumpy with his eyes open.

ping!!




[yes, i KNOW he has his eyes closed in the photo... >:]